A woman who doesn’t want to marry her fiancé but also lacks the motivation to call off the wedding. You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle is a book about two people who have lost their way.
One that fills my heart with all the feelings of gushiness without the cringe-y embarrassment, but also makes me laugh about the ridiculousness of romance. These thoughts and feelings have led me to return to a novel to which I feel like I’ve found a true connection. I mean, who dances with their partner in their house? Who makes a special dinner for their partner? Isn’t everyone kind of just lying on the couch reading a book or watching Netflix all night long? Am I a cynic or is there something to the idea that romance is not always what we expect?
But in real life, the idea of that level of romance in real life makes me feel weird, uncomfortable, embarrassed and even a little nauseous. Why is that? In the fantasy of the novel it is romantic and beautiful and the “who wouldn’t love an amazing person like that” feeling sort of takes over. But, whenever I start thinking about something like that happening in real life, I usually roll my eyes. I can deal with it and get the cozy feeling because it happens on the page. I get a gushy feeling when the hero does something truly selfless for his (or her) lady (or man) love. I’ve definitely thought more about this as I have read more and more romance novels.
In that scenario – if all the mysteries have been solved, what does romance truly mean? When you know that the person you are married to (partnered with, etc) burps, farts, and maybe even pees with the door open while you’re in the house, all the mystery is gone. I mean, at this point there’s not much we don’t know about each other. Librarian and I have been married almost 15 years and sometimes (especially in the COVID times) it mostly feels like romance is dead. I was recently talking with someone (ok, my therapist) about the nature of romance.
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